Commentary #1 Melissa Montoya

The essay is well put together and gives a good argument. The conformation is very clear and organized. It follows the structure well and the thesis is strong and clear as well. She supports her thesis well. Each paragraph always ties back to the thesis. None of her arguments are irrelevant. Each reason is educated with strong support backing it up. Even if she used a personal example she had good reasoning on why she provided the example. I think her argument would win over a skeptical or neutral audience. She provides clear and relevant examples that are not over the top that only maybe a tiny portion of a population can relate to. Every example is relatable and they can probably relate it back to there own personal experience about the view she is arguing. She does show a fair look onto the opposition view and sort of agrees with their argument.  But this does not mean she agrees with them completely. She provides good details and evidence on why the opposition argument is not a very high quality point of view. She does not attack the opposition like Camille Pagila attacks Lady Gaga which is much more appealing. I think that the audience would likely side with her because of the great detail she provides with each example she uses. She also gives a good representation of the opposition’s point of view which makes her refuting argument very credible. I feel that she could have provided some more statistics about online dating and some more quotes about that view. I thought it was a very well laid out paper she follows the structure to a tee and this makes for no confusion on what she is talking about. Her counter arguments I felt could also be a bit more in depth as well with some statistic or something along those lines. It is very minor things Melissa needs to fix, but if she does this will be an excellent paper.